Memories to Share

[speedoflight]

I live in the U.S. I was 15 when Barbara Yung Mei-ling died. I remember hearing about the news and it was very unbelievable. Like a lot of young men then, I had a huge crush on her. I was a big fan of hers and had watched all her shows. I tried to read up as much as I could about her and it was not easy considering how scarce it was to find English articles about her back then. She was 11 years older than I was then at aged 26. Today, I am 35 and older than her when she passed away. I still think of her time-to-time but mostly about how tragic it was that she should have resorted to suicide because of a failed romance.

Barbara Yung Mei-ling is especially memorable to me because she was the first celebrity that I really did like and died. So in every way, it was the first death I'd ever felt of someone whom I really liked. But unlike a death due to an illness, a death because of suicide leaves you feeling very helpless. You wish that you could have done something or said something that would have made a difference. Situations like "if only...", "maybe...", "could it be...", etc. etc. I have learned that in the end, the only person who really knew why was the person who did it. We will never really learn the real reasons as to why she chose suicide. Only she knew. Maybe for a moment of weakness, she did the most lethal thing to herself. Whatever it was, it was done and she's now gone for 20 years. These 20 years have gone by very quickly and it is always interesting for me to still see Barbara Yung fan sites or read of people who still adore her but barely knew her for they were ever so very, very young when she was still alive.

In 1987, I went to Hong Kong and actually took the mini van/bus to Broadcast Drive and saw her apartment's exterior (recognized it from the many photographs shown of it when she was found dead). Her apartment was a first floor apartment. It was a very unassuming building and only maybe 3-4 minutes' walk from the TVB entrance. Interestingly when I was walking on Broadcast Drive toward TVB, I saw celebrities like Simon Yam walking to TVB, going to work. He may have parked his car somewhere. I thought to myself...that Barbara must have walked down that same path many times to go to work.

I remember the anger people had toward Ken Tong because of his involvement with her. I think that it is unfortunate that Barbara's death murdered two careers, hers and his. I am not a fan of his and in total fairness will say this. While her death may have been the result of her depression over him, he did not inflict harm or malice toward her. Therefore, he should not be held accountable for her death. It is very unfortunate that his career was pretty much destroyed as a result of her death for people failed to forgive him. All relationships have issues. Maybe he felt that the relationship was not something he'd wanted and told her his decisions and she found it hard to take. But that does not hold him accountable for her death. There's a saying, "I can tell you anything but how you decide to deal with what I've said is totally up to you and I'm not responsible for your actions for only YOU are responsible for your actions."

As mentioned, I was a huge fan of Barbara's when I was young. Today, my fan feelings of her are different. It's more of that from an adult's respect of a talented but very tragic actor's life. Like many of you, I do wish she could have lived to a ripe age. Whether she remained in show business or not was irrelevant. I wish she could have enjoyed her life and felt all it had to offer. The entertainment business in Hong Kong is very melodramatic and rough. It is very different from Hollywood. Then again, Hong Kong's culture is completely different from Hollywood. In every way, Barbara's life unfolded and ended like a TVB drama.

Barbara seemed like a very special person when she was alive and I'm glad all of you are keeping her memories alive through forum boards such as this and other fan sites.

[Lanie]

First of all, I would like to welcome you, Speedoflight, to our MB forum. It's an honor for us to have a new fan like yourself joining our forum.

I was also around your age when Barbara passed away. At that time, I was very sad at the loss and sad for her that she ended her life so early. Now that I am older, I recently have a chance to connect to MB fans and learned so much more about her life that I never knew. The more I know about her, the more I admire her and love her. My admiration and love toward her only grows, never die. I was a huge fan of hers back then, and even a greater fan now. After re-watching her series again after 20 years, I appreciate her acting skills even more. You can say that my feelings of her change, but more toward the positive side everyday.

I used to think that she killed herself because of love, but I really don't believe this anymore. I really think that it was an accident, or something else, but not taking her life in her own hands. Some may disagree with me, but this is what I really believe in my heart. The subject can be discussed endlessly and will always remain a mystery.

However, we choose to honor her by discussing about her talents, her series, and especially her Kiu Wai. This forum is the guiding light of our MB spirits, and we will always keep it alive.

Thank you for your acknowledgement and posting. I hope you can participate with us in any topic discussion since we have the same interest, Barbara Yung. I look forward to more of your postings.

[speedoflight]

It is interesting that you should feel she died because of other reasons. The reality is, no one really knows. A couple of years back, I talked to an individual who had deep connections into the Hong Kong entertainment circle who said that there was a man who was very curious about Barbara's death and did some investigation of his own to find out how and why. This individual said he found out that Barbara was murdered for some very complicated reasons connected to the Hong Kong triad. That could be the true reason or could be a conspiracy theory...who knows...

The Hong Kong police did not seem to have launched any investigations into her death but seemingly took it that she committed suicide. Then again, from my observations (including the death of Leslie Cheung) that they do not seem to be very thorough and investigative in nature. Some may disagree with me but had these incidents occured in the US, there would have been more forensic investigation into the cases, particularly in a case like Barbara Yung's given that she left no suicide note, etc. On the other hand, as mentioned in my initial posting, the entertainment circle in Hong Kong live in a world of their own. I may be putting out a blanket statement but my observation of Hong Kong's culture is that it's on the melodramatic side. I have friends in Hong Kong and knew of many others there and it always struck me that the culture there tends to skate high on the melodramatic scale. Hence, issues like a broken romance can really be blown out of proportion and the people in such situations have little emotion support for it's not commonplace for the Chinese to deal with psychological or psychiatric issues like the way the West does. So it could well be too that Barbara did commit suicide. Or maybe it was a murder. Or maybe something else. The only people who could have requested for a thorough investigation into Barbara's death were her family members, i.e. her mother but I doubt she did. So, 20 years later...it's still a mystery and will always be. Even if they did choose to do a thorough investigation now, it'd be very challenging now given the lapse of so many years for the case itself. And if the death was indeed caused by other issues, then the pinning of it on Ken Tong was very tragic for I remember seeing his career get ruinned by a very unforgiving emotional audience. He dwindled to taking small roles and ended having to star in some substandard Taiwanese shows. I am not a fan of his at all but I do think that punishing someone for an event that was shrouded with so many questions is very unfortunate.

Lanie, like you, when I was a kid, it was very hard for me to connect with other fans or even talk about Barbara for there was no such forum. In fact, there were so few articles in English and I had to ask people who could read Chinese to read the articles out to me.

I think it's great that there are so many who still honor her memories, talents and shows.

[Lanie]

Speedoflight, thank you so much for sharing the information on Barbara and her death. I am very glad to be able to connect to someone like you who knows something about the investigation and HK entertainment industry. You certainly have a wealth of information on this topic. I hope you don't mind to share more of what you with us fans. We are always craving for news, information, and updates.

Yes, I have asked myself why hasn't anyone opened up the case again. Questions like :was a thorough forensic autopsy done? does her mother want to re-open the case to find out once and for all who is responsible for this. Like you, I feel sorry for Kent too. I really don't think that he is totally responsible for her death. First of all, I don't even think she would even kill herself for him because I truly don't feel that she loved him. I believe that her heart belongs to someone else. And without saying it, you must know who I am referring to. So why would she kill herself for someone whom she doesn't love. This is just my theory, and I am pretty sure that most of us MB fans in here feel somewhat like I do.

No matter what her death is caused by, I give her the highest respect as a person. I didn't personally know her, but I feel that I do really know her and that she is one of greatest human being. Maybe this is why she leaves before us. At least this is what I would like to think.

Speedoflight, I'd love to hear more about your experience in HK. This is one place where I hope I can travel to one day. It's been my dream ever since I've been introduced to TVB series. The 80's series still remain my favorite source of entertainment.

Your stories are very interesting. Please don't stop sharing with us more of what you know. I really appreciate it. Thanks again.

[speedoflight]

You asked if was an autopsy done. I remember an article in English in an Asian newspaper that I read shortly after her death that said that the coroners found that Barbara was menstruating when she died. The authors of the article speculated that she could have been feeling the blues because of her period and over-reacted due to an influx of hormones. Autopsies are generally done for anyone who dies an unnatural death, i.e. not from some long illness. However, what is done with the information is another story. But back to what I was saying about the lack of detailed investigation by the HK police...Just take a look at the latest suicide case, Leslie Cheung. There were so many accounts of where he was last in the Mandarin Hotel, who saw him last, who found the body first, etc. There was no official statement of one single story that is corroborated by all the eye witnesses. Now, let's move on to a U.S. based artist. Say a famous American singer or actor jumped off a landmark hotel. Do you think there'd be multiple versions of his/her final moments in the hotel, multiple versions of who first saw the body and found it, etc.? I doubt so. There might have been some speculations at first and then an official story/timeline that would piece together that person's final moments to his/her leapt and subsequent discovery of the body. That is the major biggest DIFFERENCE between how things are like here in the U.S. and that of how they run things in Hong Kong. Again, my personal opinion.

Barbara might have had feelings for Ken Tong or maybe she didn't. But one thing was very obvious was that like the Five Tigers, she was part of the TVB publicity machine. In the early 80s, TVB was at its peak and the influence and fanship of these stars were enormous in many parts of Asia. It is very common for movie studios to conjure up publicity stunts, pairings, etc. for promotional reasons. Hollywood studios like MGM, Universal, Warner Brothers used to do this all the time with old time stars like Marilyn Monroe, Jean Harlow, Clark Gable, etc. etc. etc. These stars belonged to the studios through long term contracts and it was totally up to the studios to promote whoever they wanted and liked. Today in Hollywood, movie studios no longer own the actors/actresses like before. Most are on single film contracts. This was not the case with TVB in the 1980s. I can't speak for TVB today for since Barbara's death, I gradually lost interest in the Cantonese entertainment industry. In Barbara's time, there were a handful of actresses that were obviously TVB's favorites/gems. Barbara was very obviously a favorite of theirs. She starred in the top swordplay dramas with the top TVB actors of her time. In order to drum up momentum, greater fanship toward the studio and actors, she very well might have been paired off with the heartthrobs of her time, namely people like Ken Tong, Miu Kiu-wai, etc. If you ever look at the photographs of Barbara and Ken, you will note that they are contrived shots, i.e. posed. I'm sure Ken and Barbara were very good friends. Afterall, why wouldn't they be? They were from the same TV station studio, both up-and-coming and both were attractive people. But their relationship itself might not be as fluffy as TVB would have wanted us to believe. Think about other TVB real couples at the time and find yourself photograph after photograph of them posed together in different places. You'd probably have a hard time finding that many. Maybe 1-2 pics. Any couple would want privacy rather than have hoards of photographers trailing them everywhere. Heck, even Princess Diana died because she wanted to run away from the prying eyes of the papparazzi over her friendship with Dodi Al-fayed.

I've heard it more than once from different people who have told me that the HK entertainment business is controlled heavily by the HK triad aka mafia. There are many HK actors/actresses who are involved in the triad. Back to my previous post about that Barbara's death had to do with the triad. The individual who told me that could be telling the truth. Who knows. This individual told me a little more detail about the Barbara situation but I was told that I shouldn't repeat it in detailed. So I will honor my words and will just give you some insights, even if not the entire story.

Here's an article from Simon Yam himself about triads among the HK entertainment industry:

simonyam.com/Biography/Triads/


I have been to Hong Kong many times in the past. Culturally, it's a place very unlike the U.S. I found the people there to be very melodramatic over issues of love. And at times, very immatured. Therefore, to say that Barbara killed herself over Ken Tong was not totally outrageous. She was afterall not that old, not that experienced, very young person in a very complicated society and industry. Beneath the veneer of glamor of Hollywood or Hong Kong are very complex and dirty games being played out all the time.

[Lanie]

Wow! I have chills after reading the article. Now I completely understand why Barbara's mother does not want to re-open the case nor demand for a more thorough investigation. She had said that Barbara is not a kind of person who would kill herself because of love and that it's also not because of Kent.

I get the whole picture now. You really shed some light on this puzzle/mystery. Once again, I really appreciate you sharing this information with us. It really makes a lot of sense.

I can't believe that the 2 most popular in HK entertainment (Barbara and Leslie) industry were gone and labeled their deaths with love problems. After reading your posting and the article, I am more confident than ever that Barb and Leslie did not committ suidicide. No wonder, the HK police did not bother to investigate thoroughly, but quickly labeled their deaths as suidicide.

You are absolutely right. It would've been different if the deaths were here in the U.S. This is my first time learning about HK triad. That is very scary. I guess HK is not as great as I thought.

Your observation is absolutely correct in regarding to pictures of Barbara and Ken. We all agree that they did not act like a loving couple. They seemed to be forced into taking pictures together. On the other hand, it's the opposite with hers and Michael's. You can see the chemistry, attraction, and their fondness of each other. It was just too bad that their timing was not right.

I guess some people know the real reason of her death, but who would dare to dig it up right? Everything makes sense now: why a person at the height of her career dies. She was probably asked to cooperate but refused. So death was the consequence. In one way or another, I respect her more because it really says a lot about her personality. She truly was indeed, a strong, virtuous person who stands up against the odds. I think we should give her a lot of credit.

Well, all of this is just my own opinion and conclusion after gathering the information from you and the article. Now I feel less puzzled about this mystery.

Thanks so much speedoflight.

[TAMMY]

hey speedoflight,
welcome to michael & barbara forum,its a pleasure to have someone like you to join us and give us the best info ever!!

1st of all, your info is very shocking to me. Im a little bit sad but yet a little BIT less confused with all the mysteries.
Another solutions to this mysterious case.
Afterall, i've heard of countless stories regarding her death,such as, her apartment used to have a haunted history of a prosititute who killed herself and it happen to be(20 yrs later) barbara killed herself. Awkwardly, they said that the woman who committed suicide look so much like barbara,,they even posted that woman picture up and it does look like barabra.Maybe its all computerized... Therefore, it could've beent he bad spirit for the superstitous people..but WHO KNOWS???JUST ANOTHER VERSION OF THIS CASE.

but to me, yours make the most sense. I dotn think barbara would ever kill herslef. Sometimes i think the HK police knew about it(or the CIA knew about it) but chose not to reveal the truth bc the mafia is WAY TOOO TOO POWERFUL.
for instance, have u heard of the carina lau ka ling( luu gia linh) rape case??
It was known that she was gang raped by a group. Ther eason to this is because someone(some gang related director tc) wanted tony leung( her bf at the time) to film or sign a contract with them, however, tony didnt want to be under a certain contract. Therefore, he rejected and the gang leader send out a group of hsi men to rape tony girlfriend to teach tony a lesson. Its a sad story,but its true. Its also clear to everybody that carina case involved with the mafia. The HK police just didnt bother nor did they want to get involved with this big mess. The investigation didnt go fruther than that. Its a sad case,isnt it??

[speedoflight]

Hi Lanie and Tammy:
Regarding Leslie Cheung. From what I'd read, he did not act or talk like he was suicidal when he went to the Mandarin Hotel. In fact, when his body was found, he was carrying quite a lot of cash in his wallet, his SARS mask (then HK had SARS) and was supposed to meet his manager (I believe this was what she said was due to happen). Next thing you know, he's jumping 24 floors to his death and stuck with a suicide note. I am not a psychologist or psychiatrist but I don't think it takes a genius to look at things and not ask some very specific questions. First, a person who is clinically depressed enough to attempt suicide typically is very off the charts. They won't be dressing up nice, carry a SARS mask for fear of contamination or have money in their wallet, etc. They don't make appointments with people and then jump off buildings, not unless they were very sadistic in nature and hoped for this person to see their body smash down 24 floors in front of them. From what I'd read of Leslie, he was kind in nature. I think he would unlikely want to have a friend see him splash down 24 floors. If you go read the symptoms of clinical depression and if you piece together Leslie's last hours, you will see that there's something very suspicious going on for he did not sound like he was going to kill himself. How is anyone to know that he wasn't tossed out or force to jump by people or someone? Suicide notes can easily be faked by forcing someone to write them.

Here are some sample sites:

www.depression-recovery-life.com/clinical-depression-symptoms.html
www.clinical-depression.co.uk/


I did not hear of the Carina Lau case for as mentioned, after Barbara died, I lost interest in the Chinese entertainment business. I only know of the old 80s stars and every once in a blue moon, I do read up about them to see what has gone on. I am not surprised that she might have been raped or abused during her capture. And again, not surprising that the HK police did not do much investigation. The entire HK entertainment industry is very merged in with the HK triad. There are many old time stars that have deep connection with underworld gangs / organized crime. The Sun Yee On triad is supposed to have ENORMOUS control and investment in the HK entertainment industry.

I am not a conspiracy theorist at all. I'm just putting these questions in front of you. Things are never as simple as they seem. When Barbara died, even back then when I was 15, I asked these questions...why wasn't there a thorough investigation to piece together her last moments? All we got all these years was Stephen Chow's account of her last 24 hours. That she was depressed and sobbed during a phone call. And that the next morning, he came by and smelled fumes and tried to bust in to save her. We don't know as much about Barbara like we do Leslie since his public career spanned many times longer than her very short 3 years in the limelight (1983-1985), but we know one thing...she was intelligent and dilligent. She had to be to be able to make it in the HK entertainment industry. When she died, she was at the height of her career. It was safe to say that anyone who liked HK Cantonese movies at the time knew who she was. Seemed like every Chinese I knew were talking about her death then. Would a young smart woman with a brilliant career turn on her gas stove to kill herself over a publicity photograph that she saw of Ken Tong and another woman? You tell me if there's logic in that. I emphasize "publicity" because if you looked at that controversial photograph, it was very posed/contrived. Logic would dictate that there's way more to the story and is untold. Unfortunately...we may never really know. Had she died in the U.S., there would have been a detailed investigation into her last 24 hours. Her apartment would have been looked through very thoroughly to ensure that no foul play was involved. That's how seemingly innocent incidents have turned into murder cases and into convictions of the actual culprits. Instead the Chinese public bought the "Ken Tong was to blame" wrap and punished him incessantly. Realistically, even if his fooling around caused her to kill herself, he still shouldn't be punished and destroyed by the public. Unless he participated in her death directly, it is incredibly unfair to punish him like that. But my point is, the obsession with punishing Ken at the time basically deviated most people away from asking the right questions surrounding Barbara's death. Much I believe has to be blamed on a very immatured Chinese public.


Triad Info:
www.answers.com/topic/triad

[bbtgr]

wow!!! Thanx for sharing so much with us speedoflight...that's very interesting. I guess like all the TVB series about the mafia it's true to the fact that they control the media and the law. After reading your posts, it makes more sense to me rather than ML committed suicide over Kent Tong. To me, I just can't see her doing that. Honestly, for some reason I don't feel their strong love with each other from their pictures. You can call me bias because I'm more of an MB fan....and will stick to my MB love. However, I do believe that it's all a set up....Whatever out in the media is whatever they wanted the public to believe. The truth will never be reveal. Maybe not our lifetime...who knows...and honestly....I don't really want to know...coz it's all boiled down to the fact that ML is gone. Her lovely image will only be in our memories and those who loves her as we do. No matter what...I'll always treasure her and KW for they shed some unforgetable love in my life..... ~_*

[speedoflight]

bbtgr:
In the end, that's really all it is about...that Barbara is gone forever and the thing to do is to remember her for who she was and what her life was at one time. Michael/Kiu-wai has gone on with his life and has become a successful father, husband and is enjoying his life.

If there's foul play involved, then those who did it knew what happened. But if not and if she indeed committed suicide, then only she really knows what happened and she took that information to the grave with her. Of course when you look at her photographs, even after all these years, I will shake my head and say, "What a waste!" What a waste to have died so young (whether by suicide or otherwise). But everyone has a journey and a time to spend on this planet. Hers was short and tragic but that was what it was meant to be by fate. I think her life was meant to serve as an inspiration for all those who liked and respected her. To live life as full as it could be.

[TAMMY]

hey speedoflight,
u are right, whether its a sucidal case or not, shes no longer here with us and thats something we should keep in mind and let her memory lives on. Like u said, everytime i watch her series, i just get this saddest feeling in my heart(and shes not even a part of my biological family),but i could feel her presence and i miss her sooo much. She was once alive and very active(i can never forget her expression when shes upset as wong yung),and its unbelievable that shes in another Happy world of her own.
Sometimes i wonder..wonder if her close friends or co worker back in the days still reminsces her,such as,andy lau,tony leung(i knwo for sure miu kiu wai still misses Ml alot).
I mean, we are just her fans and we still think of her everyday(at least for me and most of the fans in here).
Are u the same way,speedoflight???How often to u think of her and get sad/happy??

[speedoflight]

Tammy:
To be very honest with you, I don't think about her that much. I liked her very much in the 80s but when she died, I learned to move on. 20 years have gone on and I have got busy with my life, work, family, etc. When I was a teen and she was alive, it was a very different phase in my life. Movie stars, celebrities meant a lot then like it does for most teens but they really don't have that significance in my life today. I also don't pay much attention to the Chinese entertainment industry these days.

With Barbara...whenever there are things that remind me of the past, I do remember back to the time when I was young and she was still alive. But it's just a memory of someone from days gone by. I neither get happy or sad about her. Instead, I feel a sense of regret that she died when she was so young. When I was 15 and she was 26, she seemed so much "older". 26 seemed so faraway. But when I myself reached 26 and now at 35, I can tell you that being 26 is not that old. I realize that I really did not know her in real life. I was but just a fan.

Regarding her friends, yes, I'm sure they do remember her but like everyone else, they too have each moved on with their lives and careers. For most of them, she was either just a friend or a colleague. I hate to say this...time does have a way of making things that seem very, very significant become less significant. It's not meant for us to forget but as a means to get on and deal with life as one should. It's not healthy to dwell on something, particularly on an event one can do little about. I do think that the best way to honor Barbara is for those who cared about her as a friend to move on with life and to live it the best they can.

[speedoflight]

Tammy:
To be very honest with you, I don't think about her that much. I liked her very much in the 80s but when she died, I learned to move on. 20 years have gone on and I have got busy with my life, work, family, etc. When I was a teen and she was alive, it was a very different phase in my life. Movie stars, celebrities meant a lot then like it does for most teens but they really don't have that significance in my life today. I also don't pay much attention to the Chinese entertainment industry these days.

With Barbara...whenever there are things that remind me of the past, I do remember back to the time when I was a teen and she was still alive. But it's just a memory of someone from days gone by. I neither get happy or sad about her today. When she died in 1985, it was a very sad event for everyone. It was so tragic and unbelievable as it is with anyone who dies suddenly. But today, I've moved on from feeling that way. Instead, I feel a sense of deep regret that she died when she was so young. When I was 15 and she was 26, she seemed so much older. 26 seemed so faraway. But when I reached 26 and now at 35, I can tell you that being 26 is not that old. I realize that I really did not know her in real life. I was but just a fan.

Regarding her friends, yes, I'm sure they do remember her but like everyone else, they too have each moved on with their lives and careers. For most of them, she was either just a friend or a colleague. I hate to say this...time does have a way of making things that seem very, very significant become less significant. It's not meant for us to forget but as a means to get on and deal with life as one should. It's not healthy to dwell on something, particularly on an event one can do little about. I do think that the best way to honor Barbara is for those who cared about her as a friend to move on with life and to live it the best they can.

[TAMMY]

hey speed..
yea i know people do change and move on with their life. I mean...noone like to live for the past. I know memories is somethin thats very memorable ,but life goes on. I do miss barbara alot of times. Even tho i dont have a crush on her like u guys do lol..but to me, shes the most sweetest/cutest/adorable/beautiful and talented actess in the 80's. To me..shes the best of the best and noone can replace her. I get very sad when i watch or listen to songs that reminds me of her. I know we all need to move on. However, barbara is someone who bring back the sweet memories from the 80's.
Seriously, people tend to move on,but inside....they can never forget..until the day they die...

[speedoflight]

Tammy:
I don't think people ever "forget" about someone, particularly when someone dies so tragically. But you learn to put them in a special part of your heart and feel their presence there. You move on with time, your life and time to time, you look into your heart and you remember them. I understand how you feel about being sad about Barbara because when it first happened in 1985, it was completely unbelievable. I remember when I first heard about it from my Mom. She said, "Did you know that Yung Mei-ling committed suicide today?" And then the news bulletins came in and then I saw the photographs. It was unreal. I wished then someone could have said it was all a hoax. But it was real and she was gone forever. I had wanted so badly to be able to meet her when she was alive. I think I even wrote a letter to her c/o TVB. I can't remember if I did that. I think I did it. 20 years later and my memory is a little fuzzy about that ;-) I think I did it then because I was going to visit Hong Kong in 1985 and wanted to meet her. I was not there in time for her funeral. Our flight arrived in the afternoon, right after she was on her way to the crematorium from the funeral parlor in Hung Hom. During that trip, since it was with a tour group, we visited ATV, the competitor station to TVB. Both are located on Broadcast Drive and right next to each other. I tried to spot her apartment when the bus drove up Broadcast Drive but I couldn't see it. I returned to Hong Kong in 1987 and saw Broadcast Drive and Barbara's apartment for I took a bus there that trip. There were so many rumors about Barbara when I was in Hong Kong in 1985. Many were about her personality and about her fate, etc. All old were wives' tales.

You are right to feel sad...her life was not fulfilled. It ended so quickly.

[Lanie]

That's amazing that you were in HK that afternoon when she got cremated. You definitely were her fan.

I remember feeling exactly the same way you did when I first learned of her death. I also saw her pictures on television many days after that. I was hoping that it was a hoax although deep down inside I knew that it was true.

In many way, I am very much like you. Ever since her death in 1985, I hadn't thought much of her. I have to admit, I am guilty of that. It was too painful for me to think about it, so I tried to put it out of my mind. I only thought about her once in a while in the past 20 years, due to school, family, career, etc. Not until few months ago that I found Tammy, bbtgr, and Cynthia, that I found my love again for Barbara. I learned more about her, and I am able to express my unspoken feelings. Like you said, there was no forum 20 years ago to discuss about these things. Luckily, there are fans like these MB fans that we are able to connect and exchange opinions and feelings. All of a sudden, I feel like I am bridged back to 1985, back to my love for Barbara, and the love for these classic 80's series.

When I first got connected with these guys, I was really sad, maybe at least for a month. I was depressed about her death all over again, but worse this time. Luckily, I had gotten past this stage and I am now having a lot of fun writing MB fictions, posting my messages, and reading messages from all of you. This truly is my #1 source of entertainment now, and it will be as long as everyone is still here in this forum.

[speedoflight]

Lanie:
My trip to HK in 1985 happened to coincide with Barbara's funeral. I don't remember specifically now but I think my HK trip was planned and tickets bought before she died on May 14. I never thought I'd forget such specifics but 20 years later...cobwebs get in the way of my memory

We have MUCH in common regarding how we dealt with our feelings regarding Barbara. When I first learned of her death, it was very sad. I did not have anyone to really share my feelings with as I felt embaressed that I felt so sad about someone I did not really know in real life. There were no forums, etc. As time progressed, her death became more and more a thing of the past. High school ended, then college came and then work, etc. etc. All that just pretty much loomed over and zap, 20 years have gone by. ;D

I get into melancholy moods. About a month ago, I felt really melancholy as a dear friend of mine had passed away. I'd known him since I was a teen...so of course I thought back to the days when I was a teenager and voila, I remembered Barbara. That was when I did some searching on the Internet and found this MB board. Prior to this, I'd been to other Barbara sites over the years.

The fans on most boards are very young. Most were just tiny toddlers or weren't even born when Barbara was alive. I can't imagine how it feels like to be a fan to someone who has passed away...it must be more of a sense of regret of never being a part of an era. When you and I were fans, Barbara was indeed very much alive and HK entertainment and TV was at its peak. Since the 90s, HK's entertainment circle has dwindled so much. And as mentioned before, I did not keep in touch with its progress since Barbara's death. Today, when people talk about new HK stars, I do not know who they are and am really not interested in them. I also stopped going to HK as much as I did when I was younger. To let you know how much I'd not kept in touch...I did not even know that Danny Chan had died for 10 years! I used to really like his music. I only knew of Danny's tragic death when I learned of Leslie's death. At that point I'd thought..."Man, all these HK stars I used to like are dead and they all died sad deaths. What's the trend here?"

Well Lanie, hope you know you are not alone in how you felt. And I don't think there's anything to feel bad about not putting Barbara as the center of adoration after she'd passed away. It's just normal to move on with your life as you had other things that were important to you. It would have been very unhealthy had you dwelled on it continuously over the past two decades.

[Lanie]

Speed:
Your feelings were exactly like mine. I kept those feelings inside because it was embarassing to share to others at that time, and especially during college. I was just like you, learned to put it aside. I was not interested in the series like in the 80's. There were only a few that I liked. I don't even know the names of the actors/actresses anymore.
However, I knew of Danny's death 10 years ago because my younger brother was his biggest fan. I felt very sad too when I learned about this. I loved his music a lot, next to Leslie's. Then few years ago, Roman Tam's death. I think like you did too, "What is the trend here? Our favorite performers pass away so early. The HK entertainment world now has a complete different set of faces that I am not really familiar with, only know a handful.
I consider to be very fortunate to have this circle of communication with all of you, at least to express how I feel or what I can learn from each one of you.
I just think it's amazing that your trip coincide with her funeral. That must really mean something.
Thanks for sharing speed. I'd love to hear more from you. As always, I learn from you everytime. Thanks.

[speedoflight]

Lanie:
When I heard of Danny's death, I also learned of Roman's. Then I heard of Yu Yi-ha's death. Yu wasn't famous like the rest. She was one of the TVB Enjoy Yourself Tonight hosts at time. I think she died from cancer. And then I heard Lam Kit-ying went bonkers. Following that, I learned of Anita's death which was so preventable but she chose to neglect treatment for she wanted to experience childbirth.

I have learned to put a lot of things in perspective and as I'd mentioned before, HK's culture is very melodramatic and unreal. Several of the entertainers' death reflect this melodrama. Conversely, the American actors and singers whom I liked when I was growing up are still very much alive and have done so very well for themselves. If compared, I think the biggest difference is perspective. For some unfortunate reason(s), HK entertainers live in some world that pushes them to do the most melodramatic and unreal acts in their lives. There are so few who have learned to overcome difficulties and challenges without resorting to death or some other dramatic behavior. I actually consider Miu Kiu-wai and Chik Mei-chan as successful HK entertainers for they knew when to move on and start a new path for their lives. Miu and Chik started a business, a family and chose a very different direction. Hence they are alive, healthy and all smiles today, outdoing their contemporaries just by their choices.

[Lanie]

Speed:
Wow, thanks for more information. I never knew that Lam kit Ying was in that situation. I've just finished seeing a series that she had a small part in, and this series was made just last year. Maybe she had recovered already. How sad.
Yes, I do agree with you, HK is so different. The entertainers seem to suffer so much more emotionally, and their career lives are so short-lived. Unlike here in US where a person's career can be so much longer.
It's a good thing that Michael stepped out of the entertainment business in the late 80's. He probably wouldn't have the success like he does now. I am very happy that my favorite actor deserves this successful life. It's just too bad that Barbara is not with him. You may think I'm a lunatic for thinking this way, but I really think they were meant to be a pair. Eventhough they're not in reality, but in my mind, they always will be.

[speedoflight]

Lanie:
Here's a URL I've just found that has some news about Lam Kit Ying.
64.233.179.104/search?q=cache:O_aISOeWx_MJ:prettywoman.freewebpages.org/content/yammie/yammienews.html

It doesn't list everything but touches on that she's had psychiatric issues. Other articles I've seen have mentioned that she's had public outbursts and meltdowns that resulted in psychiatric hospital stays.

I think Miu Kiu-wai and Chik Mei-chan are one of the smartest HK entertainment couples for having gone on to build themselves a business and life outside of the film business. I know that this is an MB forum and I don't mean to be a wet blanket but from the very moment I'd heard of Miu Kiu-wai a long time ago, I'd always heard that he was with Jamie Chik. All the news and rumors that I'd ever heard of him has been that they've always been good to each other.

[Lanie]

Speed:
Thanks for the url on Yammie. That was really sad. I can't believe she was once the golden actress in the 80's and now just recovered from psychiatric problems. It's just not worth it to be in the HK entertainment business. Did she star in Greed of a Man part II? Greed of a Man Part I was one of my favorite 90's series. I would love to see Part II if she's in it. Her role was just unforgettable in Part I, made me shed a lot of tears. Her character's life was so sad in this series, maybe it resembles her real life. What a coincidence.

Oh, you are not a wet blanket at all. Don't worry about it. Everyone is entitled to their feelings. It all depends on how they express it.

Yes, it's true that Michael and Jaime are one of the most HK successful couples. There is no doubt about that. It's just my own fantasy that it's ML who's standing right next to him. She deserves a loving loyal husband like Michael.

It's just a fantasy right? It's not realistic or will it ever be true. But my MB fantasies are my inspirations to my writings. Although they're not great, but enough to entertain myself and some of these MB fans.

Speed, who is Yu Yi-hah? When did she die and how old was she? Was she in any series at all?

[speedoflight]

Lanie:
Dorothy Yu Yee-ha was a 2nd runner up for the Miss HK title in 1977.

www.misshkbeauties.com/77hk.htm

www.hongkongbeauties.com/mhk77.htm

Here's what they said about her:
"[sic] Dorothy Yu hosted many shows in the early 80s. However, her face was particially disfigured due to a horrific car accident. Dorothy came through and bravely conquered her obstacles. But tragedy strike again when she died of cancer in the early 90's."

On these sites, they said she had an accident and then died from cancer. From what I'd heard, she died during the time when Danny Chan died. Dorothy Yu wasn't a famous actress but was one of the hosts of TVB's EYT show. In the early 1980s, I saw her in some TVB cops drama but she wasn't that good in it.

As for Yammie, I don't know those titles you've quoted. I don't know the English names for many of the old Cantonese shows for at the time, they were known mostly by their Chinese/Cantonese titles. One of the biggest roles she had in a TVB drama was in the 1980s when she starred with Tony Leung Chiu-wai. She played Tony's wife. It also starred Dodo Cheng, Lui Leung-wai. Yammie wasn't that good. She was a pretty face and I think that was why TVB wanted to promote her.

You should also check out www.hkvpradio.com
It's run by a business friend of mine. The radio station plays Cantonese/Chinese music all day long and has lots of stories about HK celebrities.


Here's a URL on the Miss HK title that featured Barbara Yung:
www.hongkongbeauties.com/mhk82.htm

The author of the site says:
"[sic]..one of the finalists, Yung Mei Ling, who later became a very famous and loved TV star, committed suicide and died in May 1985, one week after celebrating her 26th birthday with her fans. During the pageant, Barbara Yung was mentioned occasionally because of her sweet cute face and good education (college graduate in textiles design). Her parents divorced when she was little, and she emigrated to England with her mom in her teens and stayed there through her college years. She was 1st runner-up in a UK Chinatown pageant in 1980. However, her height (5’ 2 1/2) limited her chances in Miss HK 1982. It was also rumored that because of her ‘too talkative and forthcoming’ attitude during the pageant, many pageant crew members of TVB did not really like her, and even ‘cursed’ her to lose backstage as the pageant was going on!"

You can see a pic of Barbara Yung in this URL:
www.misshkbeauties.com/82hk_profiles.htm

She's listed as a "fashion designer".


I'd just listened to some audio clips from this site:
www.barbarayung.net/

Since I don't read Chinese, I merely just clicked on all the links on the left nav

There's a few audio clips (in Cantonese) that the features Barbara's interview where she talked to some people who called up the radio station. The series of interviews took place about a week before she died. And if you hear it, you do NOT hear someone who is distressed. I believe one of the callers had asked her as to when she would be done with a movie she was making then and Barbara replied some time after June (1985). She does not at all sound like someone who was going to end her life a week later. One of the callers asked her if she were very "good" friends with Ken Tong. She replied that she has many good friends. One also asked her as to when she might get married. Barbara said that matters like marriage are issues that are governed by fate. That no one really knows or can say when.

It's a weird feeling to hear Barbara's voice knowing that she's passed on for so long. Such clips and her movies are all that remains of her now. It's very sad.

You mentioned about HK's entertainment industry in your posting. As I'd mentioned many times in my postings, the culture in HK is very different than in the US. The issues, mentality, attitude, thought process and slant toward life that most people have there is not the same like it is here in the US. I won't say if it's good or bad. Just that it's very different.

[Lanie]

Speed:

You sure know a lot of links. Boy, I sure don't like it when they keep on saying that Barbara committed suidicide. That is just bothersome to me. How can anyone conclude this if they don't know all the facts? They just jump to conclusion just because of what the police says. That is very sad to undermine her strong, outspoken, and courageous personality. I really don't like it at all.

How long has your friend own HKvpradio? Is it based in Hong Kong? Do they play the old (80's) music that we can listen to? I think that would be nice so that I don't have to buy them. I love most of Leslie's music and lost them during college.

So do you have a lot of friends in HK or chinese friends here in U.S?

[speedoflight]

Lanie:
HKVP Radio is an internet radio station. If you have broadband Internet connection, you can stream it to your computer to listen. You should check it out.

I used to know of many people in HK but not any more since it's been a very long time since I'd been there. I am very diversified in my life. I don't surround myself and indulge merely with Chinese or Asians in the US.

While it may seem like I know a lot about HK actors/actresses, I really don't since I haven't watched a TVB show in more than 18 years. To be honest, I don't find HK actors/actresses' lives all that fascinating. Maybe it has much to do with that when I was in my teens/early 20s, I'd used to spend time in HK, knew people there and hence experienced much of the culture there. Personally, I don't like the culture in HK. I enjoy the external part of HK, i.e. the nice tall skyscapers, the scenery, the fast pace of life, etc. but I don't like the overall culture of the people there.