Post by Lanie on Jun 6, 2005 18:44:56 GMT -5
Still Devoted to You…..20 yrs Later
Yes, Barbara is really everywhere. Her radiant smile, her bright shining eyes, everything about her…..are all around Michael. As he steps down the plane back to HK, life has gone back to normal. The earth is truly spinning. It’s funny, when it comes to Barbara, time is standing still. Everything has changed except for her. She is forever beautiful and charming in his heart. She is forever 26. Yes, everything has changed, even Michael’s love for Barbara – it’s just gotten deeper by the years, not any lesser, just when the ones around him think that it got buried or faded away.
Only Michael knows where he puts that secret love, deep within his hollow heart. It’s the love for her that got him through so many obstacles and so many difficult times in his life, personal and business. She had always been there for him to console to. Only if he could’ve had the chance to do so before she left him forever, as he regretfully thinks to himself, and often replays in his mind.
The noises, the people, the honkings of the cars bring Michael back to the reality of life as Michael walks out of the airport and looks for his chauffer, who waits for him at the curb. Michael is greeted happily by Tim, his chauffer of 10 years. Tim knows exactly where Michael has come back from, so he doesn’t want to ask.
Tim: How are you this morning, Mr.Miu?
Michael (with a big grin on his face as usual): Great, a brand new day to look forward to.
Michael can always manage to be very upbeat and positive even if he’s all torn up inside. This is the reason why he is what he is today – a very successful business person. But this is also his downfall, because he can keep a lot of dark secrets to himself, not wanting to hurt anyone with his feelings.
The sky is bright and the sun is beaming, very opposite from the place that he has come back from. Unfortunately, his feelings inside are not bright and beaming like the sky and the weather outside at all. He is already missing the gray sky with the chilly wind like the autumn season.
On the way home looking outside the window, he is thinking to himself, for the past 20 years of his life, he keeps on missing someone that he cannot have and will never have. Such a dreary thought, but it’s the reality of life, and he has been trying to accept this for 20 long years.
The car pulled up in front of his mansion. Michael carries his luggage in himself into his house. The house is very quiet. Both kids are at school. Jaime is probably shopping, like usual, her favorite hobby. She probably doesn’t remember that he comes back today. Good, I can have some quiet time in my study room to myself to collect my thoughts together, Michael thinks to himself. Michael uses his study room to retreat whenever he has a lot of things to think about or when he misses his best friend and soulmate, Barbara.
Michael sits down on his chair with a sigh. He is back at home. But he feels like he has carried something back with him. This time is very different from any other years. It’s more than a sadness or grief. It’s very unexplainable, very indescribable, as if something will happen but not sure what. He takes his key and opens up a drawer in his small cabinet in the closet in a corner behind a big plant. He takes out a box and unlocks it.
In this box is also an album, a collection of pictures and articles that he had put together 23 to 25 years ago. He opens up his luggage and takes out a box that Mrs.Yung had given him and compares the 2 sets of collection together. What a match! He and Barbara thought alike and saw things eye to eye. As he evaluates them, he feels teary up inside all over again. He walks over to his stereo and hits “play”. Alan Tam and his song from The Fearless Duo starts playing loud and clear. Michael holds the pictures close to his heart as he listens and sings along with the song. Oh, how he so wishes that he can have yesterday appears before him once again, and he can stroll through the fields with her and give her all his love. Oh, how he hopes for this change?
Jaime closes the front door. Her footsteps getting closer. Michael quickly puts the pictures safely back into his drawer and locks it. He closes is eyes for 5 seconds and takes a deep breath. He comes out of the study room to greet her.
Jaime: Oh honey, I forgot you’re coming home today. I could’ve came with Tim to pick you up.
Michael: It’s ok. You don’t have to anyway.
Jaime: How was Shanghai?
Michael: Great! Everything went as planned. How are the kids? Are they behaving?
Jaime: Yes, like usual, very active. What is your plan for the rest of the day?
Michael: I’m going to the office to take care of a few urgent matters.
Jaime: Should I be expecting you home for dinner?
Michael: No, but I will pick up our daughter from piano class. Today is Wednesday right?
Jaime: Sure, why don’t you pick Jen up? She would like that.
Michael: Ok, I’ll see you later.
Michael quickly gives Jaime a peck on her cheek and leaves for the office.
Chapter 2
Michael stares outside the window of his office after he took care of his urgent business. He gazes at the direction to where the top of the mountain is. The top of the mountain, the view of the city, and the purple lilies, he can feel them around him at this present moment. He has not been up there in a long time, 5 years? 10 years? 15 years? Or even more? It just feels like they were part of him yesterday. Ring Ring. His thoughts are abruptly interrupted by the ringing of his phone from his receptionist, “Mr.Lau is here to see you Mr.Miu”. Michael replied excitedly, “Please tell him to come in”.
Andy opens the door and walks in toward Michael. Michael happily invites Andy to sit down on his sofa.
Michael: What a nice surprise to see you Andy! What makes you come today to visit this old friend of yours? I’m really honored.
Andy: I happen to be in this area and want to drop by to see how you’re doing.
Michael: Great, like usual. Kids and Jaime are fine. What’s going on with you?
Andy: Busy like usual.
Michael: Heard about your success with House of Flying Daggers. Congratulations!
Andy: Thanks. How is business?
Michael: Business is business. That’s all, nothing much to talk about.
Andy: Michael, you’re just like before when we were working for TVB. So modest, didn’t want to discuss much or brag about your achievements.
Michael: Yeah, I prefer it that way.
Andy: Come to think about it, we’ve known each other for over 20 years. To tell you the truth, I really miss the good old days that we all had with each other. No worries much. We just focused on acting, goofing around, and hanging out together.
Andy, changes his expression from smiling to looking serious, “Michael, do you still think about it?”
Michael, walks up from the sofa to the window and looks out, speaking very softly, “How can I not Andy?”
Andy walks over and stands next to Michael looking out, “I understand. I do. I never thought that you wouldn’t. How can you not when I myself think about it very often too.”
Michael: You’re the only who really know the real me and my other side.
Andy: I do don’t I? You are a true Gemini. How can I forget that? Others may think they know you, but they don’t know your twin.
Michael: You know what everyone doesn’t know. I really prefer it this way. It’s just less questions and pain.
Andy: Well, you know you can always talk to me about this whenever you want to. I may be very busy, but I can squeeze some time out for you.
Michael: Yeah, well thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.
Michael comes to his daughter’s piano lesson class. She waves at him when she sees him approaching.
Jenny: Daddy, you’re picking me up?
Michael: Yes sweetie, I thought I would surprise you.
Jenny: I’ve missed you.
Michael: Me too. Let’s go. I’ll drive you home.
His daughter looks at him apprenhensively on the way home. She carefully says, “I’ve been worried about you since I woke you up from your afternoon nap that day daddy.”
Michael: Oh yes? Why my darling?
Jenny: You looked very sad when you woke up. I was afraid that you were mad at me for waking you up.
Michael: Oh no darling. I wouldn’t get mad at you for that. I was just tired, that’s all.
Deep down inside, Michael wishes that he never woke up for that dream. But at the same time, it’s very unfair to his children that he feels that way. It’s a very tough spot for him to be in.
Jenny: Oh good. I feel better now.
Michael: Good.
Jenny: Where have you been the past week?
Michael: I had to take care of an unresolved issue.
Jenny: Is it done yet?
Michael: I am not quite sure, but I’ll see.
Chapter 3
After Michael drops off Jenny at home, he goes for a private drive by himself. His heart is leading him in that direction, the top of the mountain. He has been afraid to come here for the past 20 years, afraid that the memories will kill him. He could only look in that direction from far away, in his office. But somehow today, he feels the urge to be there. He thinks he has enough confidence to hold himself together.
He thinks to himself as he is driving, “Will it look the same? Will the bench still be there? What are the lillies replaced with? Weeds and grass? It’s probably unrecognized.” He gets more anxious as these questions pop in his mind. He has to be there soon to see it for himself.
Michael parks the car at the bottom like before. His heart is beating fast with each of his steps getting closer to the top. Flashes of Barbara dashing in his mind. He can hear her giggles, her cries, and their innocent laughters together. This experience is more powerful than he has envisioned in his mind for the past 20 years.
He is at the top finally. Michael slaps his face. Is it a dream? Is he taken back to 20 years ago? Everything looks the same. Nothing has changed. The bench and the purple lilies are still there. There are no weeds.
He feels dizzy. Michael comes over to the bench and lay down. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He opens his eyes and makes sure that this is 2005, not 1985, by looking at his PDA. It is 2005. “I am in 2005, but I haven’t been here to groom this place,” thinking to himself.
He slowly feels the bench. The carvings are still there, “Mei Ling, will you marry me?” Suddenly, an overwhelming rush of emotions comes through him. Michael can’t control his feelings. He starts crying out loud as he never did before. “Why, why can’t we be together like how I wished for so much? Why are we separated by heaven and earth?” His tears are flowing vigorously down his face. Michael is sobbing painfully. “I would do anything to have you back in my life again.”
Birds are chirping, and the sun is beaming on his face. Michael slowly wakes up from his deep sleep. He slept here at the bend the whole night without knowing. He rubs his eyes and slowly pulls himself up. He sits on the bench and looks down at the city. He observes the area again now that it’s daytime. Amazingly, it’s true. This is not a dream. His secret place he once shared with Barbara is still the same. The purple lilies have never been more purple. They look happy in the sun.
Michael’s cell phone rings. It’s Jaime.
Michael: Hello.
Jaime: Where are you?
Michael: Oh, I fell asleep at the office. Sorry for not calling you.
Jaime: Well I was just worried about you. Now I know you’re fine.
Michael: I’ll be home later.
Jaime: OK. See you later.
Michael feels more confused now as ever. Who takes care of this place? How can he find out? He walks down toward his car. This place brings him back so many memories, all the wonderful memories he shared with Barbara. He doesn’t want to leave here. He just wants to be here forever, where he feels safe and close to her.
He comes back here the next five days at random times. On the sixth day, Michael can’t sleep. He tosses and turns till dawn. It’s five in the morning and he decides to drive to that special place.
He pulls into the spot where he usually parks. He sees a pick up truck with gardening tools in the back already parks there next to his spot. He walks up the slope. There is a person kneeling down, plucking weeds around the lilies. Michael can only see his back. It doesn’t seem like that person hears that Michael is coming closer at all. Michael lightly taps his shoulder. The man is startled and jumps up.
His hair is gray and he looks like he’s in his sixty’s. Clearly he looks like a yard maintenance man. He looks at Michael with a questioning look, but turns away and goes back to plucking his weeds.
Michael: Mister, why are you plucking these weeds?
The man doesn’t answer, but instead continues with his work.
Michael: Mister, mister.
He still doesn’t really hear what Michael is asking. He turns around and looks up at Michael and makes sign signals that he does not talk. Oh, so he is mute. Michael finally figures it out. Michael sits on the bench and watches the man taking care of the area for about half an hour. He gathers his tools and gets ready to leave. Michael gets in front of him and make signals to ask him who hires him to do this job. The man shakes his head and walks down. Michael has to find out because at this point he is so curious.
Yes, Barbara is really everywhere. Her radiant smile, her bright shining eyes, everything about her…..are all around Michael. As he steps down the plane back to HK, life has gone back to normal. The earth is truly spinning. It’s funny, when it comes to Barbara, time is standing still. Everything has changed except for her. She is forever beautiful and charming in his heart. She is forever 26. Yes, everything has changed, even Michael’s love for Barbara – it’s just gotten deeper by the years, not any lesser, just when the ones around him think that it got buried or faded away.
Only Michael knows where he puts that secret love, deep within his hollow heart. It’s the love for her that got him through so many obstacles and so many difficult times in his life, personal and business. She had always been there for him to console to. Only if he could’ve had the chance to do so before she left him forever, as he regretfully thinks to himself, and often replays in his mind.
The noises, the people, the honkings of the cars bring Michael back to the reality of life as Michael walks out of the airport and looks for his chauffer, who waits for him at the curb. Michael is greeted happily by Tim, his chauffer of 10 years. Tim knows exactly where Michael has come back from, so he doesn’t want to ask.
Tim: How are you this morning, Mr.Miu?
Michael (with a big grin on his face as usual): Great, a brand new day to look forward to.
Michael can always manage to be very upbeat and positive even if he’s all torn up inside. This is the reason why he is what he is today – a very successful business person. But this is also his downfall, because he can keep a lot of dark secrets to himself, not wanting to hurt anyone with his feelings.
The sky is bright and the sun is beaming, very opposite from the place that he has come back from. Unfortunately, his feelings inside are not bright and beaming like the sky and the weather outside at all. He is already missing the gray sky with the chilly wind like the autumn season.
On the way home looking outside the window, he is thinking to himself, for the past 20 years of his life, he keeps on missing someone that he cannot have and will never have. Such a dreary thought, but it’s the reality of life, and he has been trying to accept this for 20 long years.
The car pulled up in front of his mansion. Michael carries his luggage in himself into his house. The house is very quiet. Both kids are at school. Jaime is probably shopping, like usual, her favorite hobby. She probably doesn’t remember that he comes back today. Good, I can have some quiet time in my study room to myself to collect my thoughts together, Michael thinks to himself. Michael uses his study room to retreat whenever he has a lot of things to think about or when he misses his best friend and soulmate, Barbara.
Michael sits down on his chair with a sigh. He is back at home. But he feels like he has carried something back with him. This time is very different from any other years. It’s more than a sadness or grief. It’s very unexplainable, very indescribable, as if something will happen but not sure what. He takes his key and opens up a drawer in his small cabinet in the closet in a corner behind a big plant. He takes out a box and unlocks it.
In this box is also an album, a collection of pictures and articles that he had put together 23 to 25 years ago. He opens up his luggage and takes out a box that Mrs.Yung had given him and compares the 2 sets of collection together. What a match! He and Barbara thought alike and saw things eye to eye. As he evaluates them, he feels teary up inside all over again. He walks over to his stereo and hits “play”. Alan Tam and his song from The Fearless Duo starts playing loud and clear. Michael holds the pictures close to his heart as he listens and sings along with the song. Oh, how he so wishes that he can have yesterday appears before him once again, and he can stroll through the fields with her and give her all his love. Oh, how he hopes for this change?
Jaime closes the front door. Her footsteps getting closer. Michael quickly puts the pictures safely back into his drawer and locks it. He closes is eyes for 5 seconds and takes a deep breath. He comes out of the study room to greet her.
Jaime: Oh honey, I forgot you’re coming home today. I could’ve came with Tim to pick you up.
Michael: It’s ok. You don’t have to anyway.
Jaime: How was Shanghai?
Michael: Great! Everything went as planned. How are the kids? Are they behaving?
Jaime: Yes, like usual, very active. What is your plan for the rest of the day?
Michael: I’m going to the office to take care of a few urgent matters.
Jaime: Should I be expecting you home for dinner?
Michael: No, but I will pick up our daughter from piano class. Today is Wednesday right?
Jaime: Sure, why don’t you pick Jen up? She would like that.
Michael: Ok, I’ll see you later.
Michael quickly gives Jaime a peck on her cheek and leaves for the office.
Chapter 2
Michael stares outside the window of his office after he took care of his urgent business. He gazes at the direction to where the top of the mountain is. The top of the mountain, the view of the city, and the purple lilies, he can feel them around him at this present moment. He has not been up there in a long time, 5 years? 10 years? 15 years? Or even more? It just feels like they were part of him yesterday. Ring Ring. His thoughts are abruptly interrupted by the ringing of his phone from his receptionist, “Mr.Lau is here to see you Mr.Miu”. Michael replied excitedly, “Please tell him to come in”.
Andy opens the door and walks in toward Michael. Michael happily invites Andy to sit down on his sofa.
Michael: What a nice surprise to see you Andy! What makes you come today to visit this old friend of yours? I’m really honored.
Andy: I happen to be in this area and want to drop by to see how you’re doing.
Michael: Great, like usual. Kids and Jaime are fine. What’s going on with you?
Andy: Busy like usual.
Michael: Heard about your success with House of Flying Daggers. Congratulations!
Andy: Thanks. How is business?
Michael: Business is business. That’s all, nothing much to talk about.
Andy: Michael, you’re just like before when we were working for TVB. So modest, didn’t want to discuss much or brag about your achievements.
Michael: Yeah, I prefer it that way.
Andy: Come to think about it, we’ve known each other for over 20 years. To tell you the truth, I really miss the good old days that we all had with each other. No worries much. We just focused on acting, goofing around, and hanging out together.
Andy, changes his expression from smiling to looking serious, “Michael, do you still think about it?”
Michael, walks up from the sofa to the window and looks out, speaking very softly, “How can I not Andy?”
Andy walks over and stands next to Michael looking out, “I understand. I do. I never thought that you wouldn’t. How can you not when I myself think about it very often too.”
Michael: You’re the only who really know the real me and my other side.
Andy: I do don’t I? You are a true Gemini. How can I forget that? Others may think they know you, but they don’t know your twin.
Michael: You know what everyone doesn’t know. I really prefer it this way. It’s just less questions and pain.
Andy: Well, you know you can always talk to me about this whenever you want to. I may be very busy, but I can squeeze some time out for you.
Michael: Yeah, well thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.
Michael comes to his daughter’s piano lesson class. She waves at him when she sees him approaching.
Jenny: Daddy, you’re picking me up?
Michael: Yes sweetie, I thought I would surprise you.
Jenny: I’ve missed you.
Michael: Me too. Let’s go. I’ll drive you home.
His daughter looks at him apprenhensively on the way home. She carefully says, “I’ve been worried about you since I woke you up from your afternoon nap that day daddy.”
Michael: Oh yes? Why my darling?
Jenny: You looked very sad when you woke up. I was afraid that you were mad at me for waking you up.
Michael: Oh no darling. I wouldn’t get mad at you for that. I was just tired, that’s all.
Deep down inside, Michael wishes that he never woke up for that dream. But at the same time, it’s very unfair to his children that he feels that way. It’s a very tough spot for him to be in.
Jenny: Oh good. I feel better now.
Michael: Good.
Jenny: Where have you been the past week?
Michael: I had to take care of an unresolved issue.
Jenny: Is it done yet?
Michael: I am not quite sure, but I’ll see.
Chapter 3
After Michael drops off Jenny at home, he goes for a private drive by himself. His heart is leading him in that direction, the top of the mountain. He has been afraid to come here for the past 20 years, afraid that the memories will kill him. He could only look in that direction from far away, in his office. But somehow today, he feels the urge to be there. He thinks he has enough confidence to hold himself together.
He thinks to himself as he is driving, “Will it look the same? Will the bench still be there? What are the lillies replaced with? Weeds and grass? It’s probably unrecognized.” He gets more anxious as these questions pop in his mind. He has to be there soon to see it for himself.
Michael parks the car at the bottom like before. His heart is beating fast with each of his steps getting closer to the top. Flashes of Barbara dashing in his mind. He can hear her giggles, her cries, and their innocent laughters together. This experience is more powerful than he has envisioned in his mind for the past 20 years.
He is at the top finally. Michael slaps his face. Is it a dream? Is he taken back to 20 years ago? Everything looks the same. Nothing has changed. The bench and the purple lilies are still there. There are no weeds.
He feels dizzy. Michael comes over to the bench and lay down. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He opens his eyes and makes sure that this is 2005, not 1985, by looking at his PDA. It is 2005. “I am in 2005, but I haven’t been here to groom this place,” thinking to himself.
He slowly feels the bench. The carvings are still there, “Mei Ling, will you marry me?” Suddenly, an overwhelming rush of emotions comes through him. Michael can’t control his feelings. He starts crying out loud as he never did before. “Why, why can’t we be together like how I wished for so much? Why are we separated by heaven and earth?” His tears are flowing vigorously down his face. Michael is sobbing painfully. “I would do anything to have you back in my life again.”
Birds are chirping, and the sun is beaming on his face. Michael slowly wakes up from his deep sleep. He slept here at the bend the whole night without knowing. He rubs his eyes and slowly pulls himself up. He sits on the bench and looks down at the city. He observes the area again now that it’s daytime. Amazingly, it’s true. This is not a dream. His secret place he once shared with Barbara is still the same. The purple lilies have never been more purple. They look happy in the sun.
Michael’s cell phone rings. It’s Jaime.
Michael: Hello.
Jaime: Where are you?
Michael: Oh, I fell asleep at the office. Sorry for not calling you.
Jaime: Well I was just worried about you. Now I know you’re fine.
Michael: I’ll be home later.
Jaime: OK. See you later.
Michael feels more confused now as ever. Who takes care of this place? How can he find out? He walks down toward his car. This place brings him back so many memories, all the wonderful memories he shared with Barbara. He doesn’t want to leave here. He just wants to be here forever, where he feels safe and close to her.
He comes back here the next five days at random times. On the sixth day, Michael can’t sleep. He tosses and turns till dawn. It’s five in the morning and he decides to drive to that special place.
He pulls into the spot where he usually parks. He sees a pick up truck with gardening tools in the back already parks there next to his spot. He walks up the slope. There is a person kneeling down, plucking weeds around the lilies. Michael can only see his back. It doesn’t seem like that person hears that Michael is coming closer at all. Michael lightly taps his shoulder. The man is startled and jumps up.
His hair is gray and he looks like he’s in his sixty’s. Clearly he looks like a yard maintenance man. He looks at Michael with a questioning look, but turns away and goes back to plucking his weeds.
Michael: Mister, why are you plucking these weeds?
The man doesn’t answer, but instead continues with his work.
Michael: Mister, mister.
He still doesn’t really hear what Michael is asking. He turns around and looks up at Michael and makes sign signals that he does not talk. Oh, so he is mute. Michael finally figures it out. Michael sits on the bench and watches the man taking care of the area for about half an hour. He gathers his tools and gets ready to leave. Michael gets in front of him and make signals to ask him who hires him to do this job. The man shakes his head and walks down. Michael has to find out because at this point he is so curious.